Another 20 Insane U.S. Federal Laws

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Wednesday, August 14, 2019


On April 30th, 1790, the First Congress enacted the first criminal code of just 17 federal crimes. The bill which laid forth these laws, the Crimes Act of 1790, made acts such as murder, piracy, and counterfeiting a federal crime. 

Over time, government expansion has caused federal laws to go wild, with at least 5,000 federal laws, as well as tens of thousands of federal regulations. So how does the average American navigate through this behemoth known as federal law? Well, according to criminal defense and civil liberties litigator Harvey Silverglate, most Americans commit at least three federal crimes per day without knowing they did. But how could this happen? Well, these weird federal laws below may explain why…

  1. 49 U.S.C. §46315 makes it a federal crime to fly a plane full of illegal drugs… if it doesn’t have proper lighting.
  2. 2. 36 CFR §2.16(f) makes it a federal crime to make an unreasonable noise or gesture to a passing horse.
  3. 16 CFR §1500.19(b)(3)(i) makes it a crime to sell a small toy ball without a warning label that says, “This toy is a small ball.”
  4. 36 CFR §261.4(b) makes it a crime to say something so annoying that it makes someone else hit you in a national forest.
  5. 21 CFR §155.194(b) makes it a crime to sell ketchup that flows more than 14 centimeters in 30 seconds at 68°F (20°C) without a warning label.
  6. 50 CFR §27.33(c) makes it a federal crime to tow a water-skier in a clockwise circle on a national wildlife refuge.
  7. 50 CFR §21.12(d)(8) makes it a crime for someone to remove a bald eagle stuck in their house without a permit.
  8. 25 CFR §11.443(a) makes it a federal crime to make a phone call for no reason on an Indian reservation.
  9. 9 CFR §§94.2(b) makes it a federal crime to import pig milk from a country where there’s foot-and-mouth disease. However, 9 CFR § 94.16 makes pig cheese and pig butter okay!
  10. 7 CFR §301.80(b)(7) makes it a federal crime to transport peanut shells out of both Carolinas.
  11. 50 CFR §21.60(g)(4)(iii) makes it a federal crime to engage in population control of light geese by shooting them from a parked car, unless you’re missing one or both of your legs.
  12. 50 CFR §14.151(c) makes it a federal crime to transport a sloth to the United States, unless the sloth has a perch that lets it hang naturally.
  13. 50 CFR §32.41 makes it a federal crime to train your dog in Michigan’s Shiawassee National Wildlife Refuge, but you can hunt with it.
  14. 39 C.F.R. §232.1(g)(1) make it a federal crime to go to the post office drunk.
  15. 4 U.S.C. §3 makes it a federal crime to sell or give away any merchandise with the American flag printed on it in Washington, D.C.
  16. 16 U.S.C. §726(c) makes it a federal crime to pick a flower in the Upper Mississippi River National Wildlife and Fish Refuge.
  17. 21 U.S.C. §863(d)(6) makes it a federal crime to mail a miniature spoon with a capacity of one-tenth cubic centimeter or less.
  18. 36 C.F.R. §261.11(a) makes it a federal crime to clog a toilet with anything in a national forest.
  19. 36 C.F.R. §7.15(a)(2) makes it a federal crime to go camping with more than 9 other people in the Shenandoah back country.
  20. 32 CFR §636.28(g)(v) makes it a federal crime to ride a moped into Fort Stewart with your shirt sleeves rolled up.

 

Federal law is out of control. With it already being virtually impossible to count the number of federal laws there are, new additions make the task even more unimaginable. Even the Twitter account “A Crime A Day,” which was a great asset in this list, doesn’t expect that this task of tweeting a singular crime per day will be done until February of 2848. Thus, there is no telling what the bureaucrats in Washington D.C. will criminalize nationally in the future as they have seen to run out of sanity with their current regulations.

To read the first 20 Insane U.S. Federal Laws, click here.

Daniel Elmore is a sophomore at Alexander Central High School in Taylorsville, North Carolina. He is the top of his class and is very active in local politics as well as his local food pantry.

The views expressed in this article are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Lone Conservative staff.


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About Daniel Elmore

Alexander Central High School

Daniel Elmore is a sophomore at Alexander Central High School in Taylorsville, North Carolina. He is the top of his class and is very active in local politics as well as his local food pantry.

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