The Office Characters as American Voters

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Thursday, June 13, 2019


The Office is the best show in history. It always has been, always will be. If you dispute this, you’re a communist. The characters are funny, loveable, and awesome.

So because I make everything political, here are the political views of the Dunder Mifflin crew:

 

Jim Halpert

Jim is the apolitical sports dude. He couldn’t care less about the newest hot-button issue. He’d rather skip election day to watch the 76ers-Celtics game. Frankly, he’s most of America.

Pam Beesly

Pam is a moderate Democrat. Her creative persona will result in out-of the-box ideas, and her need to deal with her boss’ brash attitude will push her to advocate for the little people. She’s able to be friends with anyone though, even with her gun-shooting, Belsnickel-dressing colleague who gives speeches like Mussolini.

Dwight Schrute

Dwight’s a textbook libertarian. He’s the weird farmer with strange traditions. Just leave him alone to eat animals and shoot guns and you’ll be all set. He loves his work as a salesman, so the government would be better off not micromanaging his job.

Angela Martin

Angela’s the Christian conservative who believes her opinions are the right opinions. But these dogmatic views wouldn’t stop her from voting for an unchristian Republican. Let’s be real. She’d vote Republican no matter who was on the ticket. So what if Trump slept with a porn star? But be warned, the porn industry would crumble with Angela in charge.

Phyllis Lapin

Phyllis is the old-style grandma. She is a Reagan supporting Republican, which means she’s proud of her industrious husband and the time they share. She has traditional values, but she still knows how to have fun.

Stanley Hudson

Your scary father-in-law. Stanley hates change and doesn’t put up with the BS of younger generations. At work he just wants to do his job and be left out of Michael’s shenanigans. He’s your classic rust-belt Democrat, voting to make money and put food on the table.

Kevin Malone

Kevin is America’s independent voter. He is the guy presidential candidates will try to win over. Does Kevin really seem like he knows his politics? Promise him something that sounds captivating and he’ll cast his ballot for you.

Oscar Martinez

This upper-class liberal doesn’t mind paying high taxes. Make sure the money goes to good social programs and Oscar is just fine. “Tax me higher!” he says, “It’s for a good cause!” Oscar is the know-it-all of Dunder Mifflin Scranton.

Kelly Kapoor

Kelly is the SJW who gets her political news from actresses like Alyssa Milano. She cares only about social issues; anything else is “boring nerd talk.”

Ryan Howard

Ryan is a total neocon. He’ll go to war with you to get what he wants. And he wants it all. Get in his way and he’ll take you out. Ryan starts off at the bottom of the food chain, as an intern, and works his way up to Vice President of Sales. He lives for the perks of capitalism.

Darryl Philbin

Darryl is the one to vote for Obama because he’s “chill.” How cool would it be to have a down-to-earth, hoops playing dude as president?

Toby Flenderson

This guy loves rules and ruining the party. This means that he has to be a government-loving liberal, forcing regulation upon regulation on us law-abiding citizens.

Meredith Palmer

Meredith is going to vote for the candidate that gives her one thing: an easier way to get drunk. On election night she’ll be rooting hard for who will legalize weed the fastest. She’s the college freshman type of lib.

Creed Bratton

Anarchy! Creed hates government, rules, and being sane. He does some shady stuff throughout the show, but all laws are unjust so he should’ve gotten away with it.

Michael Scott

The regional manager seems a lot like Trump. He even has Trump’s Think Like A Billionaire sitting in his office. His sensitivity in the office is a bit lacking, painting a good image of our 45th President.

Matthew Swenson is a freshman at Pittsfield Middle High School in Pittsfield, New Hampshire. He is very active in student government. He hopes to one day work in Washington, D.C

The views expressed in this article are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Lone Conservative staff.


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About Matthew Swenson

Matthew Swenson is a freshman at Pittsfield Middle High School in Pittsfield, New Hampshire. He is very active in student government. He hopes to one day work in Washington, D.C

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