Political conferences are a great way to hear from your favorite politicians, activists, and leaders in the conservative movement, but they are also a place where you can meet others with similar views. There are many different people you meet at conferences, and if you’re going to be attending your first conference this year, we want to introduce you to them. That is why we have compared all of the people you meet at conferences to Starbucks drinks.
The Vanilla Bean Frappuccino
The Vanilla Bean Frappuccino is the newbie to conservative activism. They’re excited to attend their first conference or club meeting. They’re innocent and have good intentions, but have no idea what they are getting themselves into. The Vanilla Bean Frappuccino is the first stage of a Starbucks addiction, where they will eventually move on to stronger, more caffeinated drinks that they will buy daily. Similarly, once this activist attends their first conference or event, they will be hooked and get involved in any way they can. Within a year, you’ll probably find them in D.C. as an intern over the summer.
The Iced Caramel Macchiato
The Iced Caramel Macchiato is probably one of the fastest talking activists you’ve ever met. They’re the type to take forever getting their hair right, yet they’ll be first in line with an iced latte at 4 a.m. to see the President at CPAC. If she’s a girl, she wears the FFL (Future Female Leaders) elephant dress at least once per conference and will probably tell every person she can find her discount code. They get things done on time, but sometimes it requires an last-minute Starbucks run with a double-shot in their drink. They’re in leadership in their campus group because they’re ready to hit the ground running.
Quad Caffe Americano
The Quad Caffe Americano does it all. If that was not already obvious by their caffeine intake, they are most likely began their activism the second they came out of the womb. They volunteer on campaigns knocking doors and making phone calls, are the president of their YAF, TPUSA, or College Republicans chapter, and write for five different publications all while applying for law school and summer D.C. internships simultaneously. Despite how busy they are, you will most definitely see them at every conservative conference and training seminar as well. You know this person will be successful one day, but if you’re friends with them, remind them that sleep is important, too.
The Iced Latte
The Iced Latte is the conference regular. They have been involved in conservative activism since their freshman year of high school and probably have a collection of lanyards from conferences in their room, along with every sticker, button, and other piece of swag available. Even though they have been doing this for a while, they’re still excited for every conference and will be sitting in the front row for every session, with their iced latte in-hand, of course. This person is there to learn, have a good time, and stay out of trouble. If you befriend an iced latte-type, they’ll become one of your lifelong friends.
The Plain Coffee
The plain coffee drinker probably immediately turns you off with their personality. They know what they want and they go for it. This is your avid door-knocker and campaign consultant personality. In the conference group chat, you assume you’re not going to like them and are not looking forward to hanging with them at a conference. By the end, it turns out they’re one of the most reliable people you will ever meet and you end up trusting them with a lot. They have one of those personalities that takes time to come around to, but they’ll be a close friend if you give them the opportunity. You try rooming with them, but, if you’re an iced latte, you’ll probably yell at each other a lot— when you’re back home, however, they’ll be one of your first calls for help.
The Unicorn Frappuccino
The Unicorn Frappuccino is the conservative you see on Twitter or in a group chat that seems really cool, but when you meet them in person, they are nothing like you thought they would be. They usually just start drama and other issues, so it is best to stay away from them. They’re only popular on Twitter for a reason.
The Pink Drink
The Pink Drink activist is your designated “girly girl.” She has every FFL outfit imaginable, and if she isn’t talking about politics, she’s probably talking about Taylor Swift. She’s either laughing about how much of a good time she’s having or crying about being so happy or sad that the event is almost over. Everyone loves the pink drink, and, knowing her, she will probably befriend every attendee by the end of the conference.
The Peppermint Mocha
The Peppermint Mocha is a seasonal drink, and this activist is as well. They typically only attend one conference per year and don’t do much else, but when they do show up, they’re fun to be around. They are the friend that you forget about 51 weeks out of the year, but, for one week, they are your best friend.
The views expressed in this article are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Lone Conservative staff.