Monday, September 10, 2018

WASHINGTON D.C.-, fact-checking website extraordinaire, ran a fact-checking article on Senator Cory Booker’s claim that he was the fearless gladiator and subject of the eponymously-titled Stanley Kubrick film, Spartacus.

Booker (D-NJ) made the claim after heroically releasing allegedly racist and classified emails from Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh that turned out to be neither racist nor classified. Labelling his move an act of “civil disobedience,” Booker revealed that he was indeed the Thracian gladiator, a man capable of making immense personal sacrifices for the good of others. When a reporter attempted to ask him about the exact nature of the sacrifices that he had made and how he had survived his apparent death in 71 BC, Booker accused him of “violating the Constitution” and walked away.

Snopes, however, has given the claim a rating of ‘Mostly True,’ saying, “While it is true that the papers released weren’t confidential and hence releasing them wouldn’t have cost Senator Booker his job, and it is also true that he bears little to no resemblance to Kirk Douglas, we live in a free nation and Senator Booker is within his rights as a free non-white man to identify as whoever he pleases.”

Neither Senator Booker nor Snopes responded to requests for comment, although rumour has it that the latter is hard at work, fact-checking the claim that a top-of-the-line Nike sponsorship deal worth millions of dollars counts as “sacrificing everything.”




Note: This piece is a work of satire.

The views expressed in this article are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Lone Conservative staff.

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